Mainly rainy, some dry patches

It’s been a rather good week, news-wise at least. So I have plenty of fodder for a new blog to christen my new blog site. I have to start off with the little bit of technical gadgetry that had the whole world in suspense.

Apple are rather good at getting hype about their new products and this was no different. But the fallout on the other side of the announcement may have been a little unexpected.  Behold! The iPad. Apple’s new tablet thingy. It’s not quite a netbook or laptop and it’s apparently more than a larger iPod touch or iPhone. But the technical wizardry isn’t really what I’m interested in. The iPad? I heard that name and it took me a whole 2.57 seconds to make the link to a woman’s sanitary product. Unsurprisingly, “iTampon” was at the head of Twitter’s trending topics list within an hour of the announcement.

I know it’s a tablet shaped product, but they surely had some creative freedom in coming up with a name for it. They call their mp3 player a “pod” for goodness sake! But in all fairness, I still want one. Also I’d like to put forward my application for a position in the Apple branding team should a position become available, as I’m sure it might.

Some more not so breaking news. One of the last “great” British companies Cadburys is no longer British. Last week American food giants Kraft, bought it out for £12 billion. £7 billion of that being borrowed from the Royal Bank of Scotland (didn’t we recently give them a few billion?).

There are three things that concern me about this takeover. Firstly, Kraft is a company that started off selling cheese door to door. I’m not sure I can trust a company whose roots are based on door-to-door cheese sales. That being said, I also would never trust a person who thought it sensible to buy cheese from such a person.  Secondly, they will be discontinuing a few of the less popular products, most significantly the Curly Wurly. This is something I cannot let slide. It ranks up there with Tony Blair taking us into an illegal war and genital warts. Unforgivable. And finally, I worry about the future advertising of Cadburys products. If anyone has ever watched American TV, they will know what I mean. We should all boycott Cadburys until they guarantee adverts like the gorilla drumming to Phil Collins or the two mental kids with crazy eyebrows. I will not eat another Crunchie until they can promise me this!

The first ever football match to be broadcast in 3D was aired in 9 pubs across the country yesterday. I’ve seen the pictures of the audience and couldn’t help but think with everyone in these crazy glasses, I was at some bizarre convention. But I can’t see it working for pubs in the long term. Pubs serve alcohol, people get drunk, and things get broken or stolen. Are pubs going to have to introduce a deposit scheme for any future showings? According to Stacey, 20, from Plymouth “It’s a shame most normal tellies can’t yet project the polarized light needed to trick the brain into thinking you’re seeing a 3D image”. Yes I did get that quote from page 3 of The Sun, but it’s nice to see these girls having an intellectual and creative input into the world of journalism.

The quality of journalism in The Sun shines like it’s name implies. Here’s one of the stories from today’s paper.

“A sex attack suspect will be measured after a victim claimed he had a 9in manhood in Dusseldorf, Germany”

I’m not missing anything out. That is the entire story in all its glory. Oh yes, the title of that story was “Willy get off?” Unsurprisingly, nobody has but his or her name against that master class of journalistic content.

Here endeth my first blog for my new site. Expect more silliness in the future and please feel free to comment on any of my blogs, I’d be very interested to hear your opinions.

PS The comment button is in the left hand column!

3 responses to “Mainly rainy, some dry patches

  1. Nice blog, iPad? What were Apple thinking? I can even now imagine the flabbergasted look on the Branding Director’s face at the fallout from that one. I wonder if they will even consider a rename before launch? From the look of their website and at the moment it seems not.

    Also, I can’t believe Kraft plan to shelve the Curly Wurly! A heritage chocolate product and perhaps more importantly for dieting women everywhere a mere 2.5 points on weightwatchers, what will I do for my chocolate fix now?

  2. great blog as always Simon. I won’t be able to look at the adverts for the iPad in quite the same way now – thanks so much for pointing out the similarities to another certain product!!

    And Cadbury selection boxes at Xmas just won’t be the same without Curly Wurly’s, I agree with Laura that they are a heritage product – maybe we should start a petition!

  3. Another witty blog, with your own unique and truthful take on recent news topics, i look forward to your next entry.

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